Honesty is the best policy

Tops off for power at 8.30pm in April, which was nice !

After a couple of weeks of stuttering performance i had a good talk with myself on the way back from Dunnerdale this afternoon - more of which later. Looking at my training diary i can see a pattern of not having enough time to fit exercise/climbing in, getting up early to fit it in before the day starts, failing after a few days because i am knackered, do nothing for a few days and then start again. I've been falling asleep dribbling on myself at 6pm following mainly monosyllabic conversations with my kids and Mrs Biscuit. I think i'm tired. Not just 'i need a good kip and then i'll be fine' tired but REALLY tired.

Twice this week Mrs Biscuit has been good enough to find me some time to get out. Twice i've been sat below a problem thinking that i just can't be arsed pulling hard. At Bees i kidded myself i was having a session concentrating on technique. Not a bad thing, and i certainly need it, but really it was because i didn't have the motivation to do anything worthwhile.

Pretending to do something useful at Carrock

Same story today when i went to look at Greg Chapman's new discovery at Dunnerdale. Lovely location, nice rock ( if you like it rough ) some nice problems but not much mental energy to direct at them. I got one 6C done fairly quick ( Grinder ) but when i couldn't figure a sequence out on another i just gave up. I had driven for an hour to get there with precious time given up by my wife so i should have taken all i could get. Instead i left early because i couldn't be arsed walking to the next section after the Buckstone. This is by no means a reflection on the circuit, which looks like a really nice addition to Lakes bouldering. I'll make the effort to get to the real quality next time.

I think this is telling me i need a break. I'm going to try having a few days of not even thinking about climbing. The last few weeks i have constantly been trying to figure out when/if i can get out, worrying about the time i am losing due to my finger and life and stressing about my goals. Basically it's stopped being fun. I need to face the fact i need a mini break and stop forcing it.

I am determined not to give in to temptation and scrap my goals until after i've got through this period but things are not looking good. I can't find a day in May where i can get to Kilnsey and June is already starting to book up.

The Grinder