Had 2 moments of amateur psychology ths week.
I bolt to bolted a route last week but didn't have the energy to do it. I decided to b2b it again this week and then lead it. I set off, forgot the crux sequence to the first clip, climbed down 2 of the hardest moves, did them again and then made the clip. Still feeling OK i went for the next clip to put a link together, then the next clip and to the hard to clip clip etc. Before i knew it i was clipping the chain.
I'm sure it was because there was no pressure as i was only going to work it not lead it - allegedly. The route had been playing on my mind as i was gutted i didn't get it done last week. It's a great tactic but now i am aware of it how do i fool myself next time ? I may never be able to do it again as i will be aware i am trying to trick myself :0(
Later i felt like my foot was slipping off as i was making a big reach up. There was a huge jug in front of me from another route and i grabbed it instead of falling. I got back on and finished it off but didn't have time for another go. Jonny said to me at the bottom:
" You quit before you failed. "
I didn't get what he meant at the time but it was true. I made it my choice to grab the jug instead of trying 100% and maybe making the move despite the foot slip. I chose to quit on my terms rather than have the route beat me. That way i could think i hadn't been beaten i was still in control.
The route did beat me in a different, and worse, way. Got to watch out for that in future. Jonny may be an amateur psychologist but he was right - this time.